I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
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i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
FUCK WHALES
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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