Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
