I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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