420 ftw
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
And then he peed in my hair
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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