Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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