try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
