she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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