Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize