Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
