TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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