Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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