At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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