Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
