He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
