were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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