All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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