Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
