PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
