Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Did I show you my penis last night?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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