At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
sex in a hospital.. check
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
