I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
