my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
