I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize