In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
