Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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