We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Congratulations! We have a period
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
