I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
