This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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