i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
