ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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