Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize