It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
