My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
