I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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