I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
