I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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