he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
