Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
