DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
