I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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