I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
