the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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