So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize