Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Drunk is a universal language darling
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