Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
