Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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