ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
