it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
