did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
