I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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