it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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