good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
