Christians are straight up FREAKS
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
