is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
