he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize