I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
