If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize