id be glad to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
