Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
