I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need a beard to bite.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
