theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
do nipples grow back?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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