Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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