We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
