how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
