do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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